IN THIS ISSUE...

NEW SERVICES

The services of Louise Fox Protocol Solutions^® are expanding in 2006 to include a number of exciting programs on Children's Etiquette. The new programs will provide your child/young adult with the building blocks necessary for a solid future through confidence, integrity and leadership in a fun and entertaining environment.

The program is age appropriate, interactive and can include a dining tutorial on site or in your own home. Your child will learn social, dining and communication skills to enable them to feel comfortable and confident in any situation and achieve their maximum potential by building confidence in their social skills.

Holiday Etiquiz

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Tip of the Month

If you have invited guests for an overnight stay or a weekend at your home, lay out the particulars as clearly as possible. When will the guests arrive and when will they be leaving? Be sure to let guests know if you have anything planned for their stay; if dressy clothing may be needed or if they have to bring anything such as special equipment.

Top Ten Holiday Faux Pas

The holiday season is fast approaching. Here are the top ten etiquette blunders you will want to avoid if you are to be a savvy guest this holiday season.

1. Responding to an invitation at the last minute. If you wait until the last minute it looks like you are waiting for something better to come along and it inconveniences the host.
2. Arriving at a party without a gift for the host. If you are invited to a private party you should bring a small gift with a card attached so the hostess knows who brought it. Don't bring flowers the night of the party; send them before hand or the next day so the hostess does not have to leave her guests to find a vase. If you bring a bottle of wine do not expect the hostess to serve it that evening. Your wine may not be a good match for the food being served.
3. Questioning why someone is not drinking or eating. It is inappropriate and distastefully inquisitive.
4. Bringing a guest or your children to a party without the host's permission. Most times food and beverages have been planned with a specific number of guests in mind so always ask your hostess in advance. Children are not invited to a party unless they are specifically mentioned on the invitation.
5. Waiting for the host to introduce you to other guests. It is your duty to introduce yourself and mingle with other guests. Do not forget to stand when being introduced.
6. Overstaying your welcome. Know that the time to leave is about an hour after dessert is finished. Never leave without saying goodbye to your host.
7. Changing seating arrangements. A lot of thought goes in to making a seating plan and there are usually reasons why certain arrangements are made.
8. Snooping. Stick to the clearly defined party areas. Don't open closed doors, cabinets, closets, or medicine chests. Don't hang out in the kitchen unless the host has indicated it is ok.
9. Leaving your cell phone (blackberry or pager) on to receive calls or to making calls during the party. If calls are imperative, have your phone on vibrate and go to a secluded private spot to make a call.
10. Passing around your business card at a private party. Don't turn a private social function into a sales meeting. If you want to exchange cards with someone this should be in private out of view of other guests and the hostess.

12 Tips for Finessing the Company Holiday Party

1. Control alcohol consumption. Loose lips sink ships.
2. Don't confuse the company party with a regular social occasion or make the mistake of believing that because you are off the premises your conversations are off the record.
3. Don't wear revealing, sexy or outlandish apparel.
4. Treat bosses with respect just as you do at work.
5. Don't air grievances, tell off colour jokes, gossip, flirt, or make passes.
6. Avoid slow dances with anyone other than your spouse or partner.
7. Be on your best behaviour. No wild dancing or pigging out at the buffet.
8. Don't talk business if you can help it. Engage in small talk.
9. Don't coax an unwilling spouse to attend. Their attitude may reflect badly on you.
10. If your spouse is attending brief him/her before the party on any issues that should not be discussed.
11. Don't be a party pooper, stay an appropriate length of time even if the party is dull.
12. Send a thank you note to the party organizer.

Ruder Than Rude

We have all encountered rudeness in everyday life. Sometimes, however, there are situations which are so bad they are almost unbelievable. Here is your chance to tell the world about your most outstanding experience with rudeness.

The Big Deal about Small Talk:
Make the Most of Your Next Networking Opportunity

People do business with those they know and trust. This is why it is important to develop relationships in the business arena. Small talk is an important part of establishing rapport and is the beginning of the development and nourishment of a bond. Every business meeting should begin with small talk, that thread of connection that humanizes our business discussions and encourages the foundation of a relationship. By improving your conversation skills you enhance your leadership skills, boost your confidence in social situations and develop new friendships.

75% of people surveyed admitted they are fearful when attending parties or events where there are a lot of strangers. Why are they afraid? Because they don't know how to approach strangers and make small talk; they say they just don't know what to say.

As children we may have been told to be seen and not heard, don't talk to strangers, or silence is golden. Forget what your mother told you. Rather than being fearful, you have to engage others in conversation so that they can become clients, associates, or even friends.

Be aware that shyness may be misinterpreted as snobbishness or pretentiousness. This could seriously hurt your chances of developing a relationship or doing business. Take the step and introduce yourself; "Hi, my name is Janet Friendly, I am pleased to meet you."

Often people go to a networking event and spend their time looking for someone they already know. This really defeats the purpose. If you wanted to spend time with someone you already know you should just call them up for a date. Will Rogers said "Go out on a limb, that's where the fruit is."

When you enter a room, take a moment to look around and spot key people. The important points to remember are: make eye contact, smile, find an approachable person extend your hand, give your name, and use theirs. Using their name at least three times in your conversation will help you remember it.

Get a conversation started by making a statement followed by a question. The idea is to get the other person talking. Use open ended questions; those that will require more than a yes or no answer. Open ended questions begin with Who? What? When? Where? How? and Why? The best kind of statement would be one that links you to something you already have in common with the other person such as the event you are attending, the venue, or even the weather outside.

Don't forget, equally important to being a good conversationalist is being a good listener; an active listener. You don't just listen with your ears either. You have to exhibit the appropriate body language. Listen with your eyes, lean in slightly with your body, keep your stance open, nod your head, and encourage the other person verbally.

Before attending your next event, fill in the small talk chart with topics. You'll be totally prepared to engage in small talk. Ready, set, go!

You Shouldn't Have… Really!
Tips on Giving and Receiving Gifts

The Unexpected Gift

A friend drops over unexpectedly and gives you a holiday gift. You don’t have a gift ready in return. What do you do? Just say, “Oh, what a surprise! You shouldn’t have, but thank you.” If it is early in the season you can present them with a gift later. For future, keep a few small gifts on hand to accommodate such situations.

Ugly Gifts

Have you ever received a gift so ugly that it just left you speechless? A velvet painting of a bull fighter comes to mind. You tell yourself it’s the thought that counts, but you can’t help wondering what on earth they were thinking when they chose that gift.

What should you do? Whatever your true thoughts, you have to express thanks to the gift giver. You might say, “Thank you for such a unique and unusual painting.” But rather than lie, it is best to avoid describing the gift altogether and focus on the thoughtfulness of the giver. “This is so thoughtful of you. I really appreciate the generosity of good friends like you.”

Re-Gifting

Re-gifting was once considered unacceptable under just about any circumstances. Is it now acceptable practice? Not entirely. Often people find themselves with surplus items and re-gifting is one way of recycling those items you know you will never use.

For certain items, it is proper to announce the gift is a re-gift such as your fiancées grandmothers engagement ring or your mother’s family quilt. In these instances the re-gifting adds meaning to the gift.

Under most circumstances re-gifting should be done rarely and only when the following criteria are met:

• The gift is not something horrible you don’t want, but is a gift you would have bought the recipient and something they would truly enjoy receiving.
• The gift is new and still in its original, undamaged packaging. It should also be a recent acquisition so if the recipient returns it to the store, he will not be told the item is last years model.
• The gift is not one that was hand made by the original giver or a family heirloom.
• There is distance between the original giver and the new receiver. When re-gifting you want to ensure that the person who gave you the gift does not interact with the person to whom you are giving the gift. It is vital you don’t hurt either ones feelings.

Only you can best decide whether to re-gift something you have received. Think through the circumstances and if in doubt, don’t do it.

Exchanging a Gift

Under most circumstances you needn’t feel guilty about exchanging a gift. If it doesn’t fit, you needn’t even mention to the giver you are exchanging it. If you don’t like the gift and want to exchange it for something different, the considerate approach is to avoid informing the giver and preserve their feelings. If the gift happens to be a one of a kind or something chosen with particular thought and care, you shouldn’t exchange it; just learn to love it.

Upcoming and Recent Events

Manners Makeover, CAPC (closed event) - Tuesday, November 22

Outclass the Competition Dining Etiquette (closed event) - Wednesday, November 30

Children's Etiquette - 2006 (Date TBA)

Next in Protocol Power...

In the next issue of Protocol Power I will be featuring speaker Jan Eden on "Are You Marketing Yourself, Your Products or Services Successfully." Plus "Why Customers Complain" and tips on dealing with unhappy customers.